Maybe it’s nostalgia that compelled me to listen to STP’s Wonderful again. Perhaps it’s the realization that, yes, you can never really love someone you don’t know in the first place. No matter which way I look at it, it was pure delusion. Delightful delusion, but delusion nonetheless.
What saddens me is the possibility that I thought myself in love with someone who ended up not being the kind person I thought he was. Again, it all boils down to not knowing him well enough.
Should I then slap myself silly for falling into that trap again? To once again tell myself — for the hundredth time, it seems — “not again”. The “I never learn” line disturbingly resonates in my head.
So yes, at this very moment I am grateful that Mr. Wonderful remained as such — a wonderful memory to be revisited in times like this.
That, and the realization that I’ve met another wonderful person who seems to genuinely care about my well-being. Of course, like Mr. Wonderful, there is an underlying reason why he does. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that he does. And that knowledge is enough to sustain me as I try to bounce back from this unfortunate setback… and to refrain from returning to the fallback.