Before I went home I wanted to blog. I was feeling amazed, grateful, bewildered… All the while thinking I was going to say that I’ve come a long way since the wreck that I was after freshman year. Half the time through law school I was thinking… what have I gotten myself into? And the other half I was plagued with guilt that, somehow, I stole someone else’s dream and made it mine, just because I felt that I needed a change. All the while I carried that burdensome feeling with me, that I upset the balance because of my very presence.
I was shattered. I felt beaten. I was despondent. And worse, I didn’t want to be consoled. All the while I thought I just couldn’t suffer enough for what I’ve done. But now I think He’s telling me that it was meant for me, after all. That I just had to be patient and everything will work out according to plan. That I needed to learn something first, and that I needed some fortifying before I could do what needs to be done.
Things are looking up for me… and there’s still that mixed feeling of amazement and gratitude. But this one wish is tied to him, since my inner peace is tied with his dreams.
I didn’t steal his dream, yes; but I hope he gets to recover it from where he misplaced it.